why talk about self-esteem?

Our nation's young people are in crisis. In the United States today:

• Depression among children is increasing at a rate of 23% per year.
• Eating disorders are now diagnosed in children as young as age 6.
• 81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being "fat."
• 50% of teen girls and 30% of teen boys use unhealthy methods such as
  fasting, diet pills and laxatives to control their weight.
• Each day, 11,318 youth ages 12-20 take their first drink.
• 60% of high school students and 30% of middle school students say that
  drugs are used, kept or sold at their schools.
• Suicide is the third leading cause of death for people age 10-24.

With statistics like these, it's easy to see the epidemic – and it all comes down to self-esteem.  Young people who don't have a strong sense of self-worth are at serious risk.  Yet many children tell me that no one has ever spoken with them about self-esteem.

Without intervention, these problems don't "just go away," they just "grow up."

• 21 million adults suffer from depression in the United States.
• An estimated 8 million Americans have diagnosable eating disorders such
  as anorexia and bulimia.  The actual numbers of people who struggle with
  weight and self-hate are millions higher than this.
• In 2004, 18% of adults over age 35 were binge drinkers.
• In 1999, Americans spent $63.2 billion on illegal drugs.
• 132,353 individuals were hospitalized following suicide attempts in 2002.

Self-esteem affects each of us every day. 

Parents are often concerned about their children's self-esteem – but don't know how to measure it. Low self-esteem can manifest in a variety of ways – or not at all. Here are a few warning signs of possible esteem issues:

• Extreme shyness
• Preoccupation with weight or appearance
• Fear of being bullied or acting out as a bully
• Giving in to peer pressure
• Alcohol or drug use
• Eating disorders
• Perfectionism
• Promiscuity

Young people who attend my programs receive:

• A long-lasting understanding of the meaning and importance of self-esteem.
• Increased self-confidence and motivation:  the "I can do it!" mentality.
• Practical tips for dealing with bullies, peer pressure and criticism.
• Inspiration to make healthy choices and withstand negative messages.

Could your child benefit from my programs? I make children aware of their inner language, and put them in touch with the power of being who they are. I believe this benefits every child who participates – and feedback from parents and children confirms this.

When I perform for adults, I am often amazed at their longing for self-esteem. They say "why didn’t someone tell me this before?" with a tone of hunger and wistfulness for all the years they spent hating themselves.

Despite current media attention paid to self-esteem, it seems that there’s something missing from our public dialog. All too often the discussion gets bogged down in whether "too much" self-esteem makes you narcissistic, and other conversations that seem unproductive.

Isn’t it more inspiring to talk about what is our self, really? What are our own personal images of self-esteem? How do we taste it, feel it, welcome it back home? What does it mean to take excellent care of ourselves? How do we rebound after difficult experiences? There’s a deep joy within us; how do we connect with that? How do we stand our ground? How do we know when to sit on the egg, and when to break through the shell?

Why is it that we teach everything else in life, from how to drive a car, to how to run a computer program, to how to value our antiques – but regarding how to love and value ourselves (one of life’s most important lessons) we are curiously silent?

Feedback from adults confirms that adults benefit from a dialog about self-esteem as much as children do. Self-esteem, let’s talk about it

Queen of Self-Esteem® and the "Q with Crown" logo are registered trademarks owned by Queen of Self-Esteem LLC.